In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche...

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."
I love sugar, and I especially love it in the guise of a cake.
I recently bought a big, cheap, bundt cake at the grocery store and, as the epitome of moderation, was only eating 1/5 of the cake per day, shortly after breakfast (I like my rituals).  On the 5th day I divided the large remaining portion in two (so that it would fit on my dainty dessert plate) and scarfed  down Part 1 in a matter of seconds.  When I went back to the kitchen to plate Part 2, a ray of bright morning sun revealed that the whole slice was coated in a layer of mold.
Yes.
I stared into space, thinking about all the mold I had just eaten.
Had I been eating and efficiently processing mold for a few days or was I minutes away from a trip to the ER?  Should I take a Benadryl?
I opted to drink a large vegetable smoothie with a medicinal shot of vodka.
Days later, I live to write about it.  Bring on the clearance  baked goods!

I lament the passing of a warrior.

My dad bought this garden cart for me at least 15 years ago.

Every time it cracked, I cobbled it together with mending plates and deck screws and I used the heck out of it but this weekend it hauled its last 250 lb. load of gravel.  The back wheel section broke off and yes, I tried to use it like a wheelbarrow, but I finally conceded it's time for a new garden cart.

Spread your wings but DON'T FLY.

My baby chicks are now teenagers.  

They've been introduced to the flock and taken up residence in the hen house.

Three of the babies are little bantams and I'd read that bantams are fliers.  It's far safer for my chickens to stay in my backyard so I enlisted the aid of a friend to teach me how to clip their wings.

That was nerve wracking!

The feathers in the photo are just from 1 chicken and he said we did a very conservative clip.

I'm a nervous pet owner because the chickens were fairly calm during the process.

I learned that if you cut the wrong feather, they could potentially bleed to death but all you have to do, if that happens, is take needle nose pliers and pull the bleeding feather out by the root; kind of like plucking a REALLY big, bloody eyebrow.

OR, when it's time to clip wings again, I'll trade him another haircut for the service.

(sigh of relief)

Here they are...

...safe and sound and easily able to roost, even with a diminished feather count.

Random photo of the frogs who live in my wind chimes.

They are always there, in the same location.  I don't know if the bugs come to them, or if they leave their bamboo apartments at night and hunt.  Guess I'll be out there with the flashlight tonight.

Let's end on a vaguely creepy note,

just for fun.

I find this label unsettling.

Can't put my finger on  exactly why...

It's in the Bible, more or less

I want figs.

I'm a patient gardener but when it comes to figs and guavas

It's time!!!

I was enjoying morning coffee on the deck with Mike when I caught sight of my fig plant and suddenly, my coffee joy was gone.  I stomped down the deck stairs to examine the shrub more closely, all the time grumbling that it was about damn time I got some damn figs, grrr!

"Grouse and ye shall receive!"

(paraphrasing Matthew)

Tiny baby figs!!! (photobombed by one of the Bettys)

I check them every day now, trying to beat the rats and raccoons to the harvest.

Our morning coffee ritual

also prepares us for the rigors of a Florida summer day.

Mike spent a 3-day weekend taking down the old poultry run (which was basically a raccoon buffet that exclusively served chicken) and building a smaller, extremely secure run to protect my birds.  I had the important job of replenishing his beverages and cheering him on from inside the air conditioned house.  The new Chicken Ft. Knox is fabulous but left a moat of dirt that turns to muck in the rain so I needed to build a bridge.

It's ugly but it didn't cost a dime.

It took me a couple of hours to build, using scraps from the old chicken run and while I toiled I kept thinking,

"How can I sweat this much 

and still remain conscious?"

Back in the cool safety of my home, I continue the process of packing for a women's trip that has been in the planning stages for over a year.

Whenever I travel, I engage in several different activities and therefore need to pack completely different types of gear.  This trip will include a 3 day/2 night kayak adventure in a cool, maritime climate:  VERY specific gear for that.  Then there is the rockhounding portion of the trip: clothes to get muddy in, as well as a rock hammer and chisel.  Oh, and the wineries and the mountain hiking.  

Gonna have to check a bag.

I will have to make sure I get the dachshund out of there before I zip it up.

I wanted to take some homemade athletic snacks with me.

I have never bought a cookbook.

The only cookbook I own is a slim Betty Crocker volume that was given to me for my high school graduation by one of the ladies I worked with in the draperies and linens department at Sears .

Yet, when I saw this cookbook, I was compelled to own it.  It is geared toward elite cyclists and triathletes and therefore doesn't relate to my lifestyle in the least, and the dietary information seems to be written for readers with medical degrees, but I'm tired of eating chips and trail mix while I'm fossiling, and the recipes in the book are quick, easy, nutritious, and designed to travel well and go down fast.  I've made several of the recipes to try them out and they are tasty and easy but I will save them for Florida kayaking; they are designed to travel but not all the way to the Pacific Northwest in a suitcase.

Pennies from the past.

I found these in my change recently and was so excited to see them.  I've always liked coins and up until my 20's it was possible to find the occasional buffalo nickel and silver quarter in my coin purse, but by my 30's, those seemed to have been gleaned from the system and only the rare silver dime and wheat back penny remained.  Those pretty much disappeared from the fossil coin record by my 40's and it was around that time that my home was burglarized and one of the few items taken was the cigar box containing all those wheat back pennies and buffalo nickels.  It could have been worse but it was still a bummer so I'll use these to rebuild my collection.

Pennies from the ocean.

I was recently splashing around in the Gulf at Ft. Myer beach and discovered the ocean floor was COVERED with sand dollars but I think at this stage, they should be called "sand pennies."

Fun with fossils.

Here is one of my latest creations using fossilized coral that I found in the Alafia River.

Such a beautiful material and working on jewelry gives me an excuse to stay inside the air conditioned house.

About those guavas...

Some critter ate 'em!

One day they were there, the next day they were gone.  

I'll worry about that next year because for now, I'm rolling in pineapples

(sounds painful but tastes great)

and the papayas are on line:

Schedule your New Year's Day smoothie now!

My cucuzzi vines are running wild

and I kept walking past, eyes peeled for a harvest of the young gourds.

They are delicious cooked in the Sicilian way with lots of olive oil, garlic, and tomatoes, 

but the vines didn't seem to be producing and I was getting frustrated.

Until I parted the leaves...

The ground is COVERED with cucuzzi that are now far too old to eat!

Lesson learned: you gotta wade in and look for them.

At least I will have a big seed crop to share.  

Two words:

Piss.

Vinegar.

This young hen is full of both.  I should video her trying to wrench my fingertips off when I pick her up, but then a friend once told me my nails probably look like the carapace of a beetle.  Yum!

The stacks of granite remnants in my back yard

continue to diminish.

Took the gigantic round wood top off this coffee table that I bought for $5 about 18 years ago, 

and replaced it with a streamlined square of granite.

A breath of fresh air!

And why, oh why did it take me so long to buy a rice cooker?!

Talk about streamlined: crazy easy and only $15.

It just keeps getting better!

I recently traveled to Minnesota,

and while in Minneapolis, I visited a small Russian art museum.

I was transfixed by this painting:

I wonder what would happen if I won the lottery and took this picture to a renowned interior decorator and said, "This is what I want for my house."

I'm trying to picture it now. :-)

Part Time Snowbird

I know my title is redundant

but it's mid July in Florida

and for the first time I'm having vague thoughts along the lines of,

"I need a friggin' break!"

The life of a true snowbird requires finances that I do not have but I think I could save enough to swing 2 weeks up north every summer which I believe would do wonders for my attitude.

I'm officially hiding indoors and spending my free time napping, which isn't as great as it sounds because I like to be productive.

Allow me to begin with a cute dog photo:

I call this one "Synchronized Nap."

Schotzie has taken to napping on the bottom shelf of my wine rack which is also adorable

as long as I don't obsess about it being a harbinger of her advanced age and inability to make basic dog decisions (sleep on the cushy dog bed or the hard wooden shelf?).

Sucks to get old and with that, I bid farewell to one of my oldest Florida friends,

the Shimano Baitrunner 6500B.

We had a lot of good times together and I was very tough on this reel, but after 10 years of repairs at Kel's, I could've bought 3 more Shimanos and now they can't even get parts for this workhorse.

I took it to the beach last weekend, got hit with a wave which submerged it, and minutes after bringing in a beautiful bluefish, the Shimano reeled its last and seized up.

I already have its replacement because I want to get back

 to spending some time on the coast.

I took part in a nighttime bioluminescence tour of Haulover Canal and if you haven't done it, I highly recommend it.  Everything in the water glows!  I pulled this photo off the internet:

It's a fairly accurate depiction of what the bioluminescence looks like.  My friend and I even jumped out of our kayaks to swim around so that the others could see what it looked like (awesome!).  Everyone said we were brave but I used to kayak fish there all the time so I knew exactly what to expect when I got in the water.  I need to get back to that coastal living!

Anyway, back to central Florida...

I have long said (since the first time I encountered it) that I can't wait for the trend of salted chocolate and caramel to GO AWAY.  I understand that sweet benefits from a hint of salty but, as usual, the trend takes it over the top.

Yet I couldn't resist trying a maple bacon donut.

As horrifyingly bad as this looks, it's unbelievably delicious.

I am writing this Sunday night.  Guess where I'm going to be Monday morning?

Back at the donut shop!

This is a touchy trend, though, and I saw this bastard offspring languishing

 at a grocery clearance center:

As you can tell by the price, a maple bacon sugar cookie kit for home use didn't catch on.

Om...yin and yang...everything in balance...

time to eat something healthy.

After days of wondering if my pineapple was ripe enough to pick,

it picked itself!

I found it this morning, lying next to the mother plant, still in its anti-raccoon cage, waiting to be collected.  There is nothing like a home grown pineapple.  I can't grow fabulous apples, plums, or pears down here, but I got pineapples.

I thought I might have cantaloupes, too.

Not yet.

The heirloom seeds I planted produced a total of 4 fruits.

Two fruits disappeared.

The third fruit was hollowed out by a rat (there's a lot of rats in Florida).

But the fourth fruit!   Ah, the fourth fruit...

Perfect in every way!

Except that it was completely flavorless. (insert frownie face here)

I think...I'm giving up...on cantaloupe.

But I'm not giving up on the human spirit.

One of my clients told me of seeing a man and dog outside of a Publix with a sign that read,

"Seeking human kindness."

Apparently they received many donations, so I got on line and put together a t-shirt 

for Lilly to wear whenever I take her out in public:

There will be guavas

Such patience.

Years ago, I bought a small guava tree from my favorite plant man at the Mt. Dora flea market.

I kept it in a pot, as an ornamental, for a number of years and then, one day, I noticed a guava.

Excitement!

I moved it from the pot to the ground and waited.

And waited.

And waited!!!

Lots of blooms every spring but no guavas so I returned to my plant man and explained the situation.

He originally hails from Vietnam and in his soft accent asked, 

"Are you nice to your tree?"

That gave me pause, and I truthfully answered, "Not really."

He said, "You go to bed, no food, nothing to drink.  How you feel in the morning?  Bad!  That how your guava feel."  

Chastened, I purchased a companion guava tree, promised to do better, and returned home.

I now have some of the most spoiled guava trees in the county.

Still waiting...

I won't be waiting long for my cantaloupes, though.

This is an heirloom variety and this is as big as it will get.  

Always trying to outpace the insects and nematodes.

In the meantime, the rest of the garden is toast so I've opened the gate 

and the chickens have free reign. 

Hopefully this little guy has moved on to a more secure hiding place.

One leaf does not a sanctuary make.

I had to include this photo

of a rock that looks like a potato.  Very very potato-like.

A recent serving of fresh lychees from down south.

I wonder if I would have to have a greenhouse in Florida to grow these in the central part of the state.

So delicious!

With great sadness

I announce the loss of my 7 year old tabebuia in a recent storm.

I hardly got to know ya!

(No trucks were harmed in the taking of this photograph)

Now my front room is extremely bright and hot.  I've already planted a new tree but it looks like a twig in comparison.

The orchids bring me solace.

This latest from the hardware store has a wonderful scent.

Subtle bromeliad beauty abounds.

I'm gearing up for a couple of lazy, heat-blasted summer months.

Here's a recent photo from the napping dog pile of kids and dachshunds.

Stay cool!

I'm more than just a collection of vegetables.

I know I've posted a lot of vegetable pictures

but the garden was ON,

and while it's not quite OFF yet, it's slowing down so I've put all the sentimental photographs of comestibles at the end of the blog.  Easier to skip that way.

Hmmm...what else is there to...

Camping

I've been doin' it and enjoyin' it.

Camper's tip: hard alcohol=soft ground,
but it doesn't keep me warm like it does for characters

 in old-timey novels.

I recently acquired a new kayak trolley 

and was surprised to read this message on the little rubber tires:

I can't even wrap my head around that one.

Assuming I don't have the hands of a giant, you can get a sense of the size of this tire, and I can't imagine how it could ever wind up being used on a highway.

I don't have the hands of a giant

but the urge to screw with the sense of scale

has finally overcome my reluctance to dig through boxes and find a foreign coin.

From now on, I'm going to use this New Zealand 10¢ coin to give a sense of scale.

Who knows how big that trilobite is?! (except for my Kiwi readers)

Surprise!

The NZ coin is about the same size as a quarter.

Wasn't that fun?

Other things "Not for highway use"

Floorboards made of boulders.

I was on a rock collecting trip and for the last leg of our journey, it couldn't be avoided, 

but the voice of my former-claims-adjuster father was whispering in my ear, 

"All it took was a suitcase to kill Tom Mix, you crazy bitch."

I felt great relief when we finally shipped all of our rocks from Kemmerer, Wyoming to our respective homes.  

That is, until my boxes were delivered.

The postman actually said,

"They're a little banged up."

I've filed all my claims (6 boxes were "a little banged up") and I'm only requesting the return of my postage (stop laughing!!!) so we'll see what happens.

When I recently had my deck rebuilt

I had to clean everything off of it

and now I'm reluctant to put any of the gewgaws back,

but I need my grill!

Especially with all the vegetables coming out of my garden.

Yet another use for a piece of my hoarded granite:

BBQ platform.

Not sure if it's necessary but I like the clean, tidy feel.

And now, if you're sick of vegetable photos...

look away.

Ohhhh!

Ahhhh!

Pretty!

Beans.