Piñatas are not practical

     Alternate title:  This is not a piñata tutorial (although it may look like one).

     It's Christmas in my house and like any other crafty person with a German background it's time to make piñatas.  Just add gin (my version of eggnog) and let the fun begin!

     Of course, I had to start my piñatas about 2 weeks ago or they never would have been ready to give as gifts to my stepsons.  I gathered my materials: balloons to make the basic form, flour, water, cord, and just as I was about to drive to the 7-11 to buy a newspaper, the best early Christmas gift, ever, arrived on my doorstep:  one of those annoying phone books that no one uses anymore.  Instead of walking it right  to my recycling bin, I brought it inside to use in place of newspaper.  Perfect!

     AFTER I started my flour and water piñatas, someone told me that the best way to avoid having the children receive a "mold piñata"  (it's very humid here in Florida) is to use Elmer's glue and water for the binding agent.  Next time!

     This time, I went old school with flour and water for my paste and looked up some instructions to see if the proportions of the 2 ingredients were important.  One crafter's post recommended using an electric mixer so you don't wind up with lumps in your paste.  Uh, yeah...it's a piñata, not Thanksgiving day gravy for your in-laws.  The best method is to put a couple cups of flour in a big bowl set down in your sink, dump a lot of water in all at once, then mix it fast with a whisk.  Success!

     Warning!  I found out that a 10 lb dachshund can put away a fair amount of flour and water paste if left unattended.  I shudder to think what a Lab could do.

     Layering the paper and paste is a slow process that must be done in stages over the course of a few days but I find the process soothing and imagine I look just like Demi Moore in Ghost, working that potter's wheel.  I think I want Henry Cavill to come up and embrace me from behind, though.  I like to occasionally update my mental images.

     My drying rack is equally perfect for drying clothing or drying piñatas.

     When it comes to fillings, I want the biggest mess possible so I add lots of confetti, little pompoms from the craft store, jingle bells from Goodwill, anything I can find.   This time, I couldn't remember where I found the cheap confetti so I decided to cut my own out of tissue paper.  It wasn't as much of a pain in the ass as I thought it would be and it looked so good when I had a big fluffy bowl full.

     Filling the piñata is kind of messy although I could probably fashion some kind of cardboard funnel for the job.

     The final result is guaranteed to whip a child into a frenzy.  I've never gotten too involved with the decorating of the piñata because the fun of it is beating the crap out of it. 

 I had a friend in Missouri who was originally from Mexico and he said, in a pinch, his parents would put some candy in a cardboard box, tape it shut, and hang it from a tree as an impromptu piñata and they loved it.

     I can't wait to see the boys get medieval with their Christmas piñatas!

     

Dead of winter

     The phrase "dead of winter" means something different in Florida than it does in most of the country.

     I know you know it, but I have to revel in it: It's very beautiful this time of year!  

I don't melt when I go outside and swarms of bugs don't attack me and plants are still blooming, lemons are ready to be harvested, the hens have all started laying eggs again...I could go on and on!  

     The Japanese have a term referring to the bittersweet transience of life and beauty.  I don't speak Japanese so I don't know how to pronounce it, but I know what it means:  very soon our Florida weather will turn cold and we will have to wear socks with our flip flops for a week.  

Enjoy it while it lasts!

     The holiday season also heralds the arrival of Bacon Jam.  I originally found the recipe in a Martha Stewart recipe pamphlet and have converted some of my friends into Super Fans.  One friend bought me a tiny Crock Pot so I could make it the first time because she loved the sound of the recipe; she always gets a jar.  Now that I have Mike hanging around the house, I own a proper, man-size Crock Pot, capable of  stewing 5 gallons of chili OR cooking down a large batch of bacon jam.

     A couple of potential problems with bacon jam:  bacon is expensive and the MS recipe calls, disconcertingly, for a cup of strong brewed coffee to be added to the mix.  This year, one of my bacon jam fans turned me on to a local meat packing establishment (I NEVER would have found it on my own) where I was able to buy beautiful bacon ends for under $2/lb.  Awesome!  And this year, I also added a half portion of the coffee. I didn't notice a difference; the bacon jam is still the same delicious treat! 

     I was flipping through Martha's Christmas issue recently and she has updated her bacon jam recipe by adding bourbon.  Wha-WHAT?!  I'll be testing that recipe in 2014!

     So now I'm speed-knitting to try and get a couple more Christmas presents in the mail.  I wanted to make a scarf with large stitches but I didn't have a circular needle that was big enough so I brought out the traditional straight needles that Mike's mom gave me a while back, and started knitting.  I don't think I've ever really knitted on straight needles.  It was ok but the size and weight of the whole thing meant I had to finish it while sitting on the sofa wearing a carpal tunnel brace; this project won't travel.

     "Clearance tofu" seemed like a good idea when I saw it in the store.  I know...I know...

     There wasn't anything wrong with the tofu but the concept worked on my mind until I couldn't bear the thought of eating it.  Thank goodness the chickens loved it!  

"Clearance tofu" becomes fresh eggs...ta-da!

     I had to post a pic of the calabaza that grew in the middle of my tangelo tree.  It seems secure so I'll leave it there until it's time to harvest it.  Btw, this tangelo has never done well and last year's tangelos were bitter and dry, so it was with a heavy heart that I picked one of the fruits yesterday and brought it inside.  It was delicious!  It was the tangelo I have been craving for years.  Too bad the citrus greening will kill my tree soon.  :-(

     And I've got the papaya thing DOWN:  I pick them and ripen them off the tree.  Now I have  smoothies for days!

     And more good news!  I was about to pull the plug on the pigeon pea experiment; heading into year 3 with these bean trees and STILL, no beans! But even as I took this photo, something glinted at the top of the 12 foot tall "shrubs" and I realized my bean trees were finally in bloom.

     I can be patient.  I've been told that gandule/pigeon pea shrubs are perennial (btw, after 2 gin and tonics and 7 guesses at the spelling of that word, I Googled it.  Shame!) so I am going to prune them HARD...soon, and see what happens.

     So bring on the blizzards and sub-zero temps!!!!!!!!!!!!  (I can say that coz it ain't gonna happen)

Vive le Florida!!!!