Monday, May 25, 2015

So busy it's hard to fit a 2 hour nap into the day

Now that the garden is somewhat caring for itself,
I have been wandering outside the confines of my croft.
While engaging in a little light shopping (read: too poor to purchase),
I saw an item that can only be described as a dream come true:
It really was my dream
and if I'd kept better records, I could sue!
Of course my version included 4 fluffy sand wheels so that I could roll myself along the beach in search of shells without straining my neck and back.
Still, I wonder if it's possible to eat in this position...?

I somehow missed, throughout my life,
all the trends to dress in ethnic clothes
that had nothing to do with my ethnicity or coloring,
with the exception of a single pair of Pakistani, MC Hammer-style, drop-crotch pants I wore out of the house ONE TIME in the late 80's.
It's never too late!
I went to an Indian clothing store to pick out a colorful top and chose this beauty.
While I was browsing, the saleslady hovered, and finally insisted, "If you will tell me what event you've been invited to, I could help you."  I thought that was cute!  After I assured her I was just buying something for no apparent reason, she visibly relaxed.  
This top comes with little sleeves that I chose not to have attached, a long flowing scarf, a pair of pants that I have no idea how to use (no visible waistband), and for a mere $5 more, they are enlarging the armholes so that I won't lose feeling in my hands.  
Love!

Meanwhile...
I will make do with the clothes I have.  They are just loose enough that I can sneak candy into the theatre the old fashioned way:
By pretending to be pregnant.
Nobody would dare to question because I think the current world record for a pregnancy is 66.
They might have frowned upon my G&T's before the movie but that would have made for some shenanigans had I been challenged at the bar.

Out and about, I spied this little guy:
This is a protected gopher tortoise
and since I'm certain it is illegal to touch it, I would like to assure all my reader 
(the lack of an 's' is on purpose, wink wink) that
THAT IS NOT MY HAND!

Back at home...
Some of you may be aware that a couple of weeks ago I came face to face with a black bear in my yard.  The most asked question was, "How big was it?"
Hello!!!  It was a BEAR!!!
My stubborn dachshunds like to wander around my yard in the pitch dark, harassing whatever wild animal they come into contact with and up until the BEAR, that consisted of possums, raccoons, armadillos, and angry cats.  
The nocturnal wandering stops NOW.
Witness the hastily constructed dachshund corral.
Nighttime use only.

I love it when people bring me rotten food.
Well, my chickens love it.
And before you ask, "Can they eat (name something gross)?",
the answer is a resounding, "Yes!"

More praise for volunteer vegetables.
These are volunteer, full-size tomatoes, which I never grow because I can't beat the hordes of insects that want to destroy them before they ripen.  I didn't plant these and I can only assume they grew from the seeds of a hybridized-until-they-are-no-longer-tomatoes grocery store tomato.  And it produced fruit!  Not only that, the plants are healthy, the fruits unmarred, and there appear to be lots of them on the way.  Gonna be saving some seeds from this.

In the beginning,
having never grown eggplants before, 
I worried that the pests would decimate the plants.
Apparently nothing deems eggplants edible because they are absolutely untouched.
While I'm getting used to eating eggplants, it does make me wonder that nothing else will eat them...

Rangoon creeper taking over huge cactus.
Very pretty but I see some taming in the near future.

Miss Joachim won't be tamed.
I planted a start from my Singapore orchid in an unprotected area to see how much abuse it could take.  Granted, we didn't have a hard freeze this winter, but it survived a couple of days of freezing temps and is now blooming, in FULL FLORIDA SUN, outside of the orchid shade cloth.  
Crazy!











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