I can feel it coming...

My summer is your winter:

Yes, I can and do go outside, but it's better if I don't.

     I hear of people up north just getting their gardens started and half of my garden is already fried and the other half is showing signs of heat exhaustion.

     The heirloom Boston Pickler cucumber was disappointing.  Initially, the cucumber output was promising but the moment the temps hit the upper 80's, it was over.  I let one cuke go to seed and I'll try it next year under shade cloth.

     Luckily, I put up a few jars of refrigerator pickles before the end.  I gently experimented with my last batch, meaning I didn't put in too much of any one ingredient so that the pickles would at least be edible after the experimental flavors seeped in.

Introducing...Southeast-Asian-Style Cucumber Pickles

     I don't know if it's a novel idea as I did no pre-Googling and went about the process with my mental blinders on.  I'm sure it's been tried before, probably by people in southeast Asia, but I like living in my fantasy world where I introduce so many new ideas to mankind.

     I added a stalk of lemon grass, a couple of kaffir lime leaves, a small slice of ginger (didn't have any galangal), hot pepper slices, and garlic, plus an extra teaspoon of sugar to the brine.  

We shall see.

     The gardenia bush is distracting me from my dying cucumbers.  As you can see, it is not receiving the proper nutrients to keep its leaves from turning yellow.  I've tried all the recommended fertilizers.  I think the gardenia doesn't like living under the towering angel trumpet tree.  I'm going to keep the angel trumpet branches trimmed back and see if that helps.  Still, the spindly, weak shrub churns out a handful of velvety, perfumed blossoms every year and for that, I am grateful.

     The Mexican gherkins (tiny watermelon-looking things in the pic above) have been producing well. I've already pickled 2 small jars of them and am working on a third.  They taste like little cucumbers.  I'm hoping they will self-seed around the yard next year.  The cherry tomatoes with the green stripes are starting to ripen, as are the tiny cherry tomatoes that now volunteer each year.  I've been missing real tomato taste.  Bring it!

     In the alternate "food" universe (which I am embarrassingly familiar with), I saw these in the store:

What on earth is this all about?

     I stared at this product for a long time, trying to wrap my mind around the bright colors, the faux Greek font, the word "artificial" emblazoned above the flavor, and the thought process behind taking something so yummy and good, which has already been diluted by our market (fat free?!) and somehow creating this product out of it.  

     I'm one of those "amphora half-empty" people and I predict these will be on clearance shelves at your local grocery store by summer's end.

     In my house, the inverse of the yogurt cake is the yoga tape.

(a review)

     The reason I've done so little yoga in recent years is that the practices on my favorite DVD's are an hour long and I can easily talk myself out of that.  I've ordered some inexpensive used DVD's on Amazon but didn't find an instructor that clicked with me.

Until I found Shiva Rea!

     This DVD is definitely for intermediate yoga practioners.  Her style is athletic, challenging, yet also features a variety of flowing, free-form elements.  Completely new to me and just what I needed to reignite my love for this type of exercise.  AND, most importantly, I can choose from her preset practices which range in duration from 30 minutes to an hour or I can go to the "yoga matrix" screen and put together my own practice by choosing separate elements, depending on my energy level and time constraints.  I freaking love it!  I am challenged yet not overwhelmed; I'm doing yoga more than ever and feeling the results.

     I don't know who you are, Shiva Rea, but your yoga DVD gets 2 thumbs up!

     After that effusive recommendation of an ancient form of exercise which originated in India, I admit that the coming summer months will see me practicing it in the AC.

     Here's a photo of a yogic pose by a Floridian without AC:

Trust me!  You don't want to go there.

I ain't got much...

   ...but I've got my stories.

     I took a trip to Sedona, AZ in 2002 and following my vacation mantra that "I can't see everything but I'll see what I can," (maybe more of a koan than a mantra), I decided to visit the Sleeping Beauty Mine in Globe, AZ.

     It was definitely about the journey as all I got to see of the mine was the warehouse shop but I bought a small selection of their famous robin's egg blue turquoise beads, some of which I incorporated in the necklace pictured at the top of this post.

http://www.sleepingbeautyturquoise.info/

     I still think about the tortilla chips fried in butter that we had for lunch that day.  Dang!

     It was on a very different trip that I got this crazy looking fork...

     I was in a rural area of central Canada when I met a couple who make the most amazing kitchen implements out of hardwood maple.  I bought a few items but they aren't suited to the Florida climate and this fork is all I have left.  It was languishing in a cabinet until I recently acted on my waffle cravings.

     WalMart waffle iron for $9.96 and, surprise!, a box of gluten free Bisquick.  Suddenly, the little maple devil fork had a purpose: pulling waffles off the non-stick surface of the waffle maker.  Success!

The Bisquick gets one thumb up for at least trying and one thumb down for that weird underlying taste that I find in many gluten free products.  I'll keep looking.

     I haven't been to Italy, YET, but I finally found a delicious Sicilian recipe for the cucuzzi I am growing in my garden.

     A very simple "stew" of cucuzzi, potato, tomato, onion, garlic, basil, olive oil and salt that perfectly balanced out the slightly cucumber-y taste of the cucuzzi.  I desperately needed a recipe that worked for me as the vines are churning these things out at an alarming rate.

     I would like to take this moment to announce a personal landmark:

I washed my truck.

     Unfortunately, no amount of soap and water can wash "1995" off of the old Ranger but it's an improvement.

And what about those chickens?

     I recently saw a FB video of a child hugging a compliant chicken.  Only a few of my chickens will tolerate hugs and they fidget the whole time.  When I got them, they were young enough to imprint on me but old enough to know that I wasn't a chicken; they would have preferred to be mothered by a hen.  They follow me around, get underfoot, and submit to the occasional hug but they don't love me.  Whenever children visit I make sure they hold a chicken so they can get that experience.  Both sets of my grandparents were farmers but they no longer had chickens by the time I came along.  The only animals they had were big scary cows and big scary hogs; nothing to hold but your breath as you walked past the pens.

     Another uneasy alliance in my yard is between the birds and dogs.

Here's a pic of the redheads hanging out together.

     They all know that I represent food and that they are in competition for that food.  The dogs are more afraid of the beaks than the chickens are of the sharp teeth and that is a system that could end badly for the chickens but, hey, Can't we all just get along?

     My travels, nowadays, are financially restricted to the state of Florida, and mostly my backyard, but I'm still compiling stories.

Brooksville, Florida, at the end of the day...

     Current circumstances place me in Brooksville, Florida on a regular basis.

For the most part, I don't like it.

     Recently, however, I decided to take a walk and explore the old heart of Brooksville, which does have a certain amount of charm.

The residential streets in this part of town are a luscious example of rampant Florida plant growth.

I would love to do this with a bromeliad but my yard came sans mature trees.

Oh, the years I spent in Missouri trying to grow moss.  It's unavoidable in Florida.

I appreciate the wealth of family-owned eateries to choose from in Brooksville and I try to patronize them whenever I am in town.  I have a sneaking suspicion, however, that many of them are owned by the same family.  

      There are the usual signs of decay but that happens everywhere...

Back on the side streets I came across a surinam cherry tree:

     Not specifically from Surinam, not a cherry, and listed as an invasive exotic.  That's 3 strikes.

But...

they are edible and I don't think they are quite as invasive this far north due to a lack of cold tolerance. 

 I gathered some seeds.

      I would string up a hammock in the tower room of this house.

And now, for the strawberry pot to end all strawberry pots...

It's a monster!  And it looks like you could actually grow a crop of strawberries in it.

I think it is currently being underutilized. 

     The problem with Brooksville, Florida is, at the end of the day, you're in Brooksville, Florida; a little too far off the beaten path without quite enough assets to make up for the remove, and home of the most aggressive red light traffic cameras I've ever had the misfortune to tangle with.

     That being said, I have about 8 more years of weekend visits  so I'd better make the best of it. 

     Maybe reviews of local eateries...

Cult of Walgreens

Does anyone else find the new Walgreens "strategy" a little strange?

     Some months ago, the Walgreens stores painted all their drab stores a fresh new drab color, started selling fruit and sandwiches, and instructed their employees, at the close of each sale, to say, 

"Be well."

                  

..............creepy............

     Regardless of the employee, these two words are always spoken a bit furtively, as though "they" might be listening.  

     I always reply, deer in headlight, "Thank you,"  when what I really want to say is,

"So say we all,"  

a la Battlestar Galactica.  

     

     THANK GOODNESS "they" did not instruct the Walgreens liquor store employees to say, "Be well" as I gather up my 1.75 liter bottle of Beefeater.

     As you might expect, I hoofed my hooch on home and started wandering around my backyard.

As usual, CHAOS.

I swear, I have a finished picture in my mind and it's lovely.

Me and my Korean-made chop saw (read girl's best friend) will sort it all out.

     In the meantime, the lubbers are back...

     I try to live-and-let-live but if these grasshoppers reach maturity, they will be nearly unstoppable.  Sadly, because they feed on toxic plants, I can't swipe them into a jar and take them back to my chickens.  

     What I'm trying to protect are things like this awesome new angel trumpet.  A friend gave me the start and it finally bloomed:

Is this for real?

It is.

     Another fabulous angel trumpet plant is off and running, with huge blooms that only scent at  night. 

     I also want to keep the lubbers off my "mini swamps"...

     The centers of these large bromeliads fill with water and create a microcosm.  

I love a microcosm.

There's more than one way to meditate and I'm going to indulge in mine.

Be well.

Don't Wash Your Hijab With Your Guayabera.

     I love to shop when I travel.

     Seriously, I love to go to grocery stores in foreign countries and study EVERY SINGLE THING they have for sale but I only had to go to the local WalMart to find these laundry detergents meant to keep your darks DARK and your colors BRIGHT.

Who could ask for mas?

(I couldn't resist)

     I was reminded of similar laundry aids I saw on a trip to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates...

     Very normal for a citizen of Dubai but for me, ridiculously interesting!  

NOT interesting is the shoe aisle at WalMart...

"If you go down this aisle, you are truly lost," echoed in my mind.

So I went to Dairy, instead.

     Goat milk has to be a good thing, right?  Goats are kind of like chickens:  able to live just about anywhere on minimal resources, unlike big, voraciously hungry, yet picky, cows.  I use goat milk in my coffee but only the kind in the carton; canned goat milk is VERY "goat-y".    There was a time I thought I would like to have a pygmy goat in my back yard but I was warned that no matter how many weeds I had, I'd never have enough to satisfy even the smallest goat.  At least they don't need a bale of hay the size of a truck!

And what about this Imusa brand?

(resist the urge to spell it "iMusa")

     It's a huge line of Latin cookware that I used to only see at Bravo but now is making inroads at WalMarts; and the product selection can vary wildly from store to store.  Of course, I cannot fail to notice that the rice pans and tamale pots are made in China of aluminum (you hope!) and I have no tortilla making skills, whatsoever (and do you have to wear oven mitts to grab the handles?) BUT...should anyone show up on my doorstep with a big Imusa steamer pot full of tamales veracruzanos, they will not be turned away.

     Lately, when I've been out shopping, I cruise through Lowe's to see if they have any clearance paint for my dining room.  I have a certain color of green in mind but the shelf has been empty...until today!

     Do not doubt, ye of little faith, for I can turn this motley assortment into the color of my dreams.  All this Valspar paint cost a total of $22.50 AND the cash register spit out a rebate form which I always send in and for which I will receive a $5 check.  You can't beat that with a stick!

And here's the new bowl from Pepper Creek Pottery in Homosassa, Florida:

Simple and homey and made right here in Florida by a very nice lady.

     It's always good to return home after a shopping trip.  There are things in my yard that you can't buy at the store.

Braille eggs.

Heirloom picklers.

With the help of a simple brine recipe, they go from cucumber to refrigerator pickle in 30 minutes.

The house is redolent (I love that word!) with the smell of garlic and dill.  

I can't wait to make the next batch!

Easter. Eggs.

Anyone familiar with cascarones?

     They're real eggshells, dyed super-saturated colors, and  filled with confetti, hecho en Mexico, and they only appear at WalMart for a few weeks before Easter.  This is the first year the package didn't feature a cartoon of one child smashing a cascarone on another child's head (which I appreciated because what else would you do with them?).  A dozen cascarones cost about $1 so I always buy 3 dozen for the stepsons to enjoy on Easter.  

     I'm not suggesting that cascarones don't cause fights and minor bruising, but I'm usually inside relaxing by the time that happens.

     A couple weeks ago, one of my hens laid a lunker egg.  Here's what was inside:

     Two, count 'em, TWO yolks!  Not that amazing but fun to see, nonetheless.  This 2-yoked egg is sitting on an Indonesian rice crepe called a hopper.  Diana sent me the recipe to try and it's very tasty but requires some planning as the batter consists of rice flour, yeast and coconut milk and must rise for 2 hours.  Good for slow-paced mornings.

     The week after the 2-yolked lunker egg appeared in the henhouse, I found a tiny follow-up egg.

     Eggs this size never have a yolk so I used my German egg blowing device to empty and save it.

     There were some other tiny eggs laid in my yard...

     This nest full of Carolina wrens didn't hang around long after hatching.  Seems like they fledged in a couple of weeks.  I checked out their nest after they were gone and it's TIGHT; very comfy and cozy.

    There used to be a dachshund in the middle of this fur.

     Lilly is feeling a little less cozy these days, after her haircut, but if I don't clipper her woolly outer coat every so often, she's a burr magnet.  

I got creative with my own grooming.

     I wish I could find the original Sally Hansen metallic polishes I was obsessed with in the early 2000's.  They had a solid metal finish whereas the current metallic polishes are more of a glitter look.  Still, I dropped $2.78 on Sally's Xtreme Wear in Celeb City and my craving is satiated.  It all started when I recently watched the movie The Counselor and I couldn't quit staring at evil Cameron Diaz's silver metal press-ons.  Sleek!

     I walked these silver toes to the post office and FINALLY requested actual stamps for a letter to Germany.

     It took forever but the result is so great!  I asked the postal employee why they don't have a program that spits out stamp combos from their existing inventory and he replied that they used to but it was discontinued.  Dang cutbacks but I'm sure that was one of the least-used programs at the USPS.

     Back at my farmlet (I'm adopting that term even though I don't earn income from my produce), I tried freezing a batch of kale for the first time.

     I only consume kale in smoothies or wilted on the stove so hopefully the texture after I thaw it won't be a problem.

     The little guava tree is covered with blossoms for the first time since I started actually caring for it.  I might have guavas this year!  I might have lots of cucumbers this summer, too, and I plan to make refrigerator pickles.  Natasha is my dill connection.  Check out her amazing dill!

     I'm going to freeze some, dry some, and plant some seeds.  

And until I can make my own pickles, I've been enjoying this dill pickle relish:

     I like the old-timey look of Mt. Olive products and they were the only company I could find in the area that produced "sour pickles" required for a friend's Oklahoma style potato salad.  This dill relish has probably been around for awhile but I've found it at last, just in time to make some Easter egg salad.