Have kale, will travel

On the eve of taking an armload of kale to West Virginia

someone asked if it was allowed on the plane.

We shall soon find out but if TSA lets me fill my see-through quart plastic bag with  little liquor bottles instead of contact lense solution and shampoo, I don't think they'll mind the kale.

I'm now a dehydrating fool.

Last season I got kale'd out but as soon as the kale was gone, I was cursing having to buy greens for my smoothies.  

Ta da!

This inexpensive dehydrator makes quick work of kale, turning it into what I hope is a nutritious powder to mix with bananas and yogurt.

I recently discovered a yummy cocktail called a Pepino.

The main ingredient is cucumber infused vodka.

My thoughts exactly!  That should be easy to make!

Here's my first attempt, using the first cucumber of the season from my garden.

Fingers crossed that I'm not making a batch of cucumber infused mold.

I finally had all my purebred horses shipped to me.

These were all the Breyer horses I could afford when I was a child.  

Within a year of my final horse purchase, my interests turned to AC/DC albums and eyeliner.

And here's a strange occurrence...

I was getting in to my truck early one morning when this magnolia blossom fell out of the sky and splatted at my feet.  I looked up to see what bird would do such a thing.

A single glance revealed a hawk, a sandhill crane, a group of ibis, A SWALLOWTAIL KITE, and, the most likely culprit, a crow.  A pretty great assortment of birds to see at one time and that isn't counting all the little birds flitting around.

Vin Diesel knows...

...when you live on Crematoria

you have to make choices.

Shelling gandules on the line between "shade" and "scorch"

I noticed a stray pod that missed the compost bowl.

Let it go, man!

I'll clean that shite up after nightfall.

It's hot being green.

The natives can take the heat.

Warmed by the Florida sun.

As always, my concern for unsecured food rages on.

What if he has to slam on the brakes?!

Pineapples and mangoes everywhere!

Baby veg.

Foetal veg.

Eggplant buds.

Fingers crossed for success with my first ever eggplant...planting.

Jewelry veg.

Ah, just keeping in the theme.

Actually, I made a vegan necklace after realizing that some of my supplies, like silk cord and horn beads, had animal origins.  

It's good to have options.

Worst ever photos of a mama opossum and babies:

Lucky for her, she wasn't headed toward my veg garden and yes, that is a car, a Camaro to be exact, parked on the OTHER side of the fence.

Cactus orchid.

I've killed so many starts of this plant and had pretty much given up hope of ever getting one to bloom.  A client gave me this start and I stuck it into the nearest pot and forgot about it...

until now!

Gratuitous cute dog photo.

I still run and grab the camera every time Schotzie goes to sleep on an item I've set on the floor, but she's so predictable in that regard, I could set up random, super-cute, scenarios and create a calendar of her sleeping:  put a little crib on the floor, a portable Japanese rock garden, a hollowed out pumpkin shell.  The possibilities are endless!

Patience, grasshopper

I have been practicing being patient for 50 years now.

I have seen some improvement.

One of my friends has the most amazing pineapple "plantation" in her front yard, harvesting 12-15 fruits every season, and I've been emulating her...for years!

Glory!!!

Baby pineapples galore!  FOUR, to be exact!

Only 4 more months before they ripen...

Patience, grasshopper.

I bought a new toy that also requires patience...

on many levels.

This ominous looking machine is a lapidary slab saw with a big diamond-edged blade inside.

I bought it, used, from the owners of Hogg Mine and while I was initially intimidated, it's actually relatively quiet and non-threatening.  They told me that the diamond blade won't cut your skin but will go right through your fingernail.  

No intention to test that theory.

Here's what I can do with this saw:

This is a very thin slice of a chunk of fossilized coral that I found in a local river.

Amazing, I know.

I am determined to earn back the cost of the saw through selling coral in some way, shape, or form.

I was a vendor at a tiny fossil show last weekend (shared a table so my cost was $0) and I'm proud to say I sold $11 worth of coral slices.

Hello, big money!!!

...patience, grasshopper...

I had the usual SolOpsArt fare for sale...

...and was happy to bag up a few of those, too.

My pineapple guru is also a master at reducing her impact on the planet

and she gave me a set of these cotton produce bags. They are light enough that they won't affect the weight of your goods and they are reusable, of course.

I felt like the coolest shopper in the store that day.

But I can't totally give up on plastic grocery bags.

I line my small trash cans with them and they have many creative applications when I'm in a pinch.

Witness impromptu scupper plugs for my kayak.

Those are my paddling gloves, tightly folded, and water-proofed with plastic shopping bags.

I loaded my yak waaaaay too heavy so it was either jettison cargo or get creative.

Ka-ching!

I know you're wondering...

...and yes, the pigeon peas are doing great!

Here's hoping for 4 more years of culinary bliss with this one shrub.

I've been patiently ignoring

 the crazed bougainvillea in my yard

but it was finally time to tame it or lose an eye trying to get around it.

They are beautiful, but why so mean?

The branches remind me of the sleeves of a calypso costume.

No?  Well, I guess you had to be there.

No flower will be forgotten!

I did it!  I finally devised a little arrangement out of cactus flowers. 

Bright as a calypso shirt!

And for a split second, I thought this looked fun:

and then the doubts crept in.

The more I studied it, the more it looked like a minor form of well-heeled torture.

FIVE people?! Such a small space for so many useless flower arrangements.  Much more practical to use that space for wine but...what about bathroom breaks?  I guess they're supposed to punt to the bank with that stick of bamboo.

I'll be meditating on this mess for days.

Have a great week!

The Sexy Side of Chilling Out

Random, I know,

but as I often listen to Pandora's "Chill Out" station while I work,

I couldn't help but notice a sexy feel to many of the CD covers.

This surprises me for a couple of reasons.

Relaxation music is often seen as something women like and I've even had male haircut clients make cracks about the music by referencing mani's and pedi's and facials, but these CD covers would suggest marketing to a male audience.

"A Seductive Double CD of Sublime Rhythms"?

I'm old school so I'm trying to adjust my mind to the fact that the beautiful women must be the seducers and they are using this relaxing, seductive music to get the Euro dudes to fall into their beds. 

Right?

I guess I equate relaxation as coming after the sexy time and to me, this is music to nap to.

Oh, yeah, baby...Hedkandi.

I'm going to sleep now...

Safe and Sound

I threw a 50th birthday party for myself

which was odd because I'm only 45.

Psyche!

It was my 50th birthday (witness the beautiful cymbidium orchid gift above) and prepping for the party was a bit foreign to me.  I can throw together some fruit and cheese for a few friends but full scale party supplies?  

Lost!

This is what my cart looked like

 and when I walked away from it for a moment in the store, I had trouble finding it again because I've never before had a cart that looked like that!

So the craziness is over, cake has been eaten, 

guests have gone home,

and I can go back to wandering aimlessly around my yard, enjoying the pretty flowers.

These were on clearance for 47¢ because they weren't blooming.

Look at 'em now!

I finally moved my Buddha Belly to a shadier location and it's coming back to life.

Bromeliad perfection!

One word:  orchids.

And the best surprise of all?

PRODUCE!

Those are baby green beans!

After I thinned some crowded seedlings, 

I had enough veg for a morning frittata.

Great success!

Lilly has discovered the perfect way

 to follow me around the garden.

I was afraid she wouldn't be able to turn around but she contorts that skinny body to great effect.

This method keeps her feet out of the garden soil but her fuzzy hide

 still drags in plenty of mulch and leaves so....

Time for a furcut.

Needless to say, she hates it, but she's a good sport

 and now all the birds will have soft nests this spring.

Driving around with the dogs,

I had to get a photo of how Schotzie likes to ride.

It's not about seeing out the window for her;

she wants to smell the whole wide world.

Let's close with some funny looking chicken feet.

Who knows why this leghorn adopted this posture to sip water dripping from the hose?

I just know, those chicken toes are hilarious!

Foolhardy determination

It's springtime,

which, in Florida, means it's 85° by 9 AM.

I have a gaggle (and I use that term incorrectly) of Carolina wrens trying to nest in my yard,

or more specifically, in my shed.

Since I got my new/used toy, a lapidary slab saw, I am about to embark on a lot of "shed time" and I don't want to scare the wrens to the point of abandoning babies.

Wrens gotta go!

It took me awhile to find where they were building their first nest: 

in the bag on the front of my bicycle.

Don't they know 

I'm going to ride that thing at least once in 2015?!

I dismantled the nest before they could start laying eggs and zipped the pouch shut but they still kept coming into my shed with leaves and twigs and dachshund fur.

I definitely use my kayak anchor more than my bicycle so a second nest had to be dismantled.

They got the hint.

Other news in the world of foolhardy determination:

Coconuts

A friend gave me some coconuts and while I know there is good stuff inside, I have not a clue how to get to it.  Do not sign me up for an episode of Naked and Afraid (for a variety of reasons)!

I hammered at one of them for 15 minutes with a 2lb sledge and didn't even mar the outer surface.

I called in my neighbors from Trinidad and they knew exactly what to do: 

they took the coconuts away from me.

The trade-off is that this weekend, they will deliver 

enough amazing curry to feed me through the weekend.

The Trinidad neighbors also told me

that I could easily preserve all my Meyer lemons by washing them and popping them into the freezer. When I need lemon juice, I take one out and either microwave it or let it set in the 

springtime sun for 5 minutes.

True to form, 

I've just been slicing them, as is, and using them in lieu of ice cubes in my G&T.

And the determination to grow vegetables...

The small, sickly plant in front is the "goal" vegetable, a pepper plant.

Towering to the left is a mushroom and behind the pepper is a weed that is sure to outpace my pepper plant, if the pepper plant survives.  At least the chickens haven't found a way in yet, but I did have to chase a flock of ibis out.  I think the ibis are only looking for bugs but they would have no compunction about trampling my seedlings.

And now for a review:

This is a shandy made with grapefruit soda

and it's pretty darn tasty.

Have a great week!