Monday, July 7, 2014

Bamboo and Bicycles: Heaven or Hell?

Living in Florida can be a mixed bag.
Witness the warning sign at the DOG WALKING area of a rest stop.
At least there was a warning, right?

But I was also warned about the hazards of planting bamboo in my yard.
I was warned over and over and over again.
"This is a clump bamboo," I was assured, "It won't take over your yard."

Yes it will.

I planted the clump and as soon as the summer rains started it immediately doubled in size and sent roots to...well...HELL.
At least that's what it now feels like as I try to extricate it from my property.

As I dig at Satan's root ball, I think of this cartoon from FaceBook:

Yes, it's hot down here in Florida but that affords us ample opportunities to participate in warm weather activities (here's where I tie in the "Bicycles").
Look at this guy's sweet ride!
When I saw his bike, I had one of those "Why didn't I think of that?!" moments.
The next day, during my weekly visit to WalMart-hell, I was almost swayed by this...
Check. It. Out.
Cool color!  Faux wood-tone accents!  And all the extras come standard: 
cup holder, BOOK RACK, WICKER BASKET!!!
Are you kidding me?!

But in the spirit of my little blog, I made my own:
This is my old Mongoose that I bought off the husband of a friend about 15 years ago.
Whenever I take it to a bike shop for maintenance and they start throwing me attitude, 
I haughtily announce,
"It's a PRE-WalMart Mongoose."
That shuts 'em up.  
AND it's got custom handlebars! Thank you W.F. for that little innovation.
I just added a cooler to the NON-wicker basket and stuck a G&T in the holder 
made for an electrolyte-replenishing beverage.  
Voila!

Enjoying my bicycle allows me to escape the Ranger 
which is quickly descending to "White Trash Hell"
Yup, you're seeing it right.
How can I complain when the weird cassette tape insert allowed me unbridled access
 to the original speakers for so many years?
Well, it's OVA!!!
Surely this will be featured on an episode of 
"Jury Rigging Gone Wild!"
(Hey, I didn't sign a consent form for that!)

Save me!!!









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