I am soooo tired.

Thank goodness I made it through the holidays!

What?! The holidays aren't over yet?!

All I can say to that is: omg.

Thankfully, I haven't packed on any holiday pounds yet.  Remember that motivational intestinal virus for Thanksgiving?  And maybe I don't partake in any regular exercise but that doesn't mean I'm not constantly moving like a hamster on a wheel.

Last week, I got off the hamster wheel and took a walk in my neighborhood.

This is something I almost NEVER do.  I spend a lot of time outside so when it's time to "exercise" I prefer to do it in the AC while watching a movie on Netflix.  I didn't see much in my neighborhood and for that, I'm am somewhat grateful.  You just never know, these days.

Neighborhood loquat.

I wanted my own loquat tree as soon as I moved to Florida.  They produce a fruit the size of a small plum that has that tangy tropical taste and, as you can see, the compact tree sports attractive leaves and flowers.  Then I found out that the seeds are poisonous which doesn't concern me for my own safety, nor that of my chickens because the seed would pass right through them, but for my crazy, perpetually starved (in their own minds) dachshunds, who would crunch the poisonous nuggets up any chance they got.  Scratch the loquat.

Something with pretty leaves.

What a gorgeous shrub with leaves that are green on the top and purple underneath.

Just sayin'.

Pine needles.

I love the smell and texture of the long needles from slash pines.  You can buy these in bales to use as mulch.  Yes, you could also rake them up from a willing neighbor's yard for free. 

 My question is, how do I turn these pine needles into...

A fabulous pine needle basket.

My answer is, I don't.

This is a craft better left to learn and master in my dotage, assuming I'm not already in my dotage.

Thankfully, my walk terminated in my yard after an exhausting 10 minutes.

Why even wander?

Beautiful, beautiful mimosa tree.

Brought to the US in the 18th century, probably considered an invasive exotic,

 but beloved none the less.  I appreciate that this plant looks pretty even when it's not blooming due to the feathery leaves.

Soon to be the world's oldest snake plant.

Not really, but this snake plant is still in the original plastic tub that it was in when I bought it at a grocery store in Missouri approx. 15 years ago.  I got tired of dusting it about 3 years ago and set it outside under the angel trumpet tree.  Happy as a clam (whatever that means).

Any day now...

Thaz right!  Look at all these future pigeon peas.  Another 5 months and I'll have enough for lunch.

Unrelated topics.

A huge chunk of fossilized coral I just found in the Alafia River.

So freakin' cool!!!

Still one of my favorite souvenirs, I bought this brazier in Nicaragua for $13.

Can you believe I got it home without breaking it?

And on a Spirit Air red-eye!

How NOT to advertise your hair salon.

And now, to close with a peaceful interlude.

One of my recent collages.  Love how it turned out.

Much easier than weaving pine needles, I'm sure.

My Thanksgiving: Fantasy vs. Reality

My Thanksgiving morning began with

an Intestinal Virus.

I mostly gave thanks that I wasn't vomiting but fever, aches, diarrhea, and being bedridden for 3 days 

Sucked.

There goes the holiday weekend!  

Consequently, I had to do some serious expectation adjusting.

The following photo represents my fantasy Thanksgiving indicated by the amazing abundance of traditional foodstuffs I purchased for gorging:

But here is the reality of my Thanksgiving meal:

As a testament to my almost superhuman force of will, I still managed to pull over on my careful, painful journey to Walgreens and pick up a piece of trash:

Hey, I would've picked this up even if I had been vomiting.  It used to be a table lamp but it will live again as my new dining room chandelier.  Stay tuned for that project!  

You'll still be reading 3 years from now, right?

Anyhoo...I figured after 3 days on a diet of "Wal-lyte" and air I would arise from my sickbed looking something like this:

A little lean, granted, but still with great hair.

Reality check!

It was something a little closer to this but without the chicken. 

And the wine.

And the smile.

Who needs reality when we can focus our attention on something lovely like this orchid?

Thaaaat's better...

But I would be lying if I suggested my first day back in the world of the living 

didn't involve alcohol.

Weird craving for me. 

I never drink stout but something about sipping it's heavy, bitter taste gave me just enough strength to venture out where I had a fantasy of finding an amazing Black Friday/Cyber Monday/Come On You Can Do It! sale price on a good espresso maker, maybe one like this:

Not the Lexus of espresso makers but a solid Nissan, with a sale price of half the internet listing.

It may be a marketing ploy but that day NO ONE (in the 2 stores I limped through) carried a mid-range espresso maker.  It was all, MR. COFFEE or BREVILLE. 

My reality was me, leaning weakly on an empty shopping cart, pondering the latest episode of "Shilling With the Stars":

It's perfume, right?  One word: brilliant.

I'm a Gun Jumper

Look at this beautiful orchid.

Now, imagine how much more beautiful it would be

if I hadn't jumped the gun and clipped it off the plant too soon:

as I trimmed the stems to put it in a vase, I discovered 2 more infant buds

 that will now never see the light of day.

Crap!

I don't know why people still complain 

about seeing Christmas items in the stores before Thanksgiving.

Aren't we all used to that by now?  

When they start putting Santa out in the fireworks tents, then we can start complaining again.

The stars are aligned to shill products.

No, Bey. I'm not convinced.

Nooooo!!!!

Don't know who you are but Yesss!!!!

Just kidding; I don't dislike anyone enough to gift them with a cheap Axe knock-off. 

And what's up with these bike tires?!

I like the look but I immediately imagine it would be a hard peddle on this sucker.

Saw this "tandem" in the parking lot

I would like to see this on the road.  I've never liked tandem designs where one person has to stare at the back of their partner all day, but this might be tolerable.

The approach of the holidays means it's time to start deciphering instructions on items made in other countries.

Can I get on a list to do emergency editing for countries in need?

I would even volunteer, although I would also accept gift certificates for payment.

Everything about this label is so classically wrong, it almost seems like a spoof.

Love.

I already splurged...

Yeah, I know, it looks like a panty shield on my foot, but it's so much better!

I've finally upgraded from the lame Hot Hands hand "warmers" that never really seemed to do much, to the amazing Hot Hands body, toe, and foot warmers that are sized for the appropriate segment of your anatomy and have a sticky side so they stay in place. I'm a fan!

I used these on a recent kayak trip near Nahunta, Georgia.

Not much to do in town, but the Satilla River was beautiful.

I got an early dose of holiday cheer

when I woke to this amazing quartz sand that looked like snow in the morning light.

All of the beauty and none of the cold.

Would it be too corny...

to say the kayaks looked like a string of Christmas lights?

Don't care, I'm saying it anyway.

I always enjoy the line up of colorful 'yaks when a group preps to head out.

And not to end on a downer but

always spay and neuter.

It doesn't matter if your pets never go outside, and your dog doesn't think like a human: he won't miss his balls.  All it takes is one jaunt out of your yard to create another generation of misery.

These babies were in poor health and so pitiful.  They tried to climb into my kayak and stood in the shallow water crying as I paddled away.  Their momma was the sweetest, saddest girl I've seen.  We were able to notify the police and animal control of their location and hopefully they will all have new homes by New Years.  

Beets and the holidays: a deep sense of resignation.

Why will no one stand beside me

and admit they hate beets?

Anyone? No?

Damn...that means it's just me.

I was watching an episode of Portlandia and there was a skit which involved 911 operators reassuring the callers that what they were seeing wasn't blood but beet juice.  Time to make peace with beets.

Thank goodness the November issue of Martha Stewart's Living magazine included a recipe for a vegetable tian composed of tomatoes, potatoes, and BEETS.

I'm not going to say something crazy now like, for instance,

"I love beets,"

but this veggie dish was delicious and the beet flavor tolerably mild.

I love seaweed.

I saw this seaweed snack at a store and decided to give it a try.

Delicious!

It reminded me of the hijiki dish I order whenever I see it on the menu at Japanese restaurants: thin, "light" seaweed shreds with a sweet glaze.  The only problem with the Sea's Gift snack is that the package doesn't contain a set of tiny chopsticks with which to eat it. Very messy affair.

While working outside...

I became the victim of a chicken caper.

They were gobbling down my smoothie behind my back.

I enjoy their company but you gotta keep an eye on 'em.

I have some beautiful new additions to the flock:

I always turned my nose up at the ubiquitous leghorn chicken, equating it with white eggs which of course were the symbol of everything wrong with factory farming.  Poor maligned hens!  It's not the color of the egg that's important.  It's the quality of the chicken's life that matters and these spry, energetic hens with their upright fanned tails are living la vida loca.

Now Trending: Cry Babies

How can I express my discomfort...

...when I saw a photo of these Halloween masks on FB?

How about, "Ewww!"

These are truly horrible, right down to the veins on the head, rubbery tears, and insufficient openings for vision and breathing which harken back to the plastic Halloween masks some of us grew up with.

I shrugged it off as a fluke, until, on a trip to my local WalMart...

OMG!!!

Are cry babies the new zombies?

The realism of this cry baby mask is 100% more unsettling than the rubber cry baby mask and now the wearer has been reduced to nothing but 2 mesh inserts for vision.  And a quick study of those eye "holes" will reveal the scale of this crazy thing: it's HUGE!

And why "cry babies"?  Please, someone, guide me into this loop.

And one last time, this face:

I finally shelled out the $25 and brought her home.  

Love.

I've been asked why I like her so much.  I'm sure there's an eloquent French saying or long German compound word to express my feelings but all I can say is, "I knew it when I saw it."

Another face...

...with excellent zombie potential, if zombies weren't already so 20 minutes ago, is this Frida Kahlo on the door of a women's restroom.  Please note how a timid but thoughtful graffiti artist added the merest suggestion of lip hair. ¡Muy bien hecho!

The zombie garden cart lives!

(segue to my yard)

I took this photo right before my latest Frankenstein-ian repair job.  

This is getting ridiculous, but it still works!

We all need boundaries,

and chickens are no exception.

I shooed them back outside after this photo 

and then Schotzie took up a sentry position for her daily sunbath. 

No birds allowed.

Schotzie is getting old, she's 13, and there are many signs of her slowing down.

Until one of the boys drops a potato chip and we all witness her take a 12 foot leap from the couch and hit the floor running at the pace of a 10-flat 100 yard dash sprinter. 

She's got a little life left in her yet.

Life abounds.

Check out this momma gecko, chock full of the next gecko generation.

I tried to get a side shot which really showed the outline of all her eggs but she was having none of it.

She scuttled off and probably dropped this clutch within the hour.

I'm finally figuring out some of the settings

on my camera phone.

The instructions (Google) say to use the HDR setting when it's really bright outside.

I live in Florida so that happens quite often.

My gloriosa lillies are extremely happy right now, possible due to all the late summer rain, so I captured their glorious beauty with the HDR setting.  Looks good to me!

And the plumeria that won't die...

This plant looked so bad for so long that the only thing keeping me from digging it up was that I'd always get distracted by another project.  It's finally gotten it's act together and won a reprieve from the compost pile.

Baby knitting needles make me cry.

I felt a need to knit something other than the same shopping bag pattern I've been doing so I started this delicate lace scarf.  Ohhh, these needles are so small and I'm having trouble with my man-hands.  I've got about 2" of scarf completed so far.  We'll see if I can go the distance.

Summer summary

There's not much to eat in my yard right now.

Papayas and eggs do not a balanced diet make.

The summer veggies are long gone and even though I'm looking forward to a fabulous G&T season as my lemons are about to ripen, it's slim pickin's.

I picked a handful of habaneros at a friend's house and cobbled together a curry.  Hopefully, I'll have my own peppers next year.

And hopefully I'll have my own pigeon peas next year.

The great gandule experiment has had mixed results.  This plant is known for its ability to thrive in difficult environments and compared to India and Africa, how difficult can central Florida be? 

 I planted all my gandules at the same time and I now have 3 types of plants:

Dead

Stunted

Thriving

Our extremely wet summer caused an explosion of scale all over my yard and the gandules took it especially hard.  Still, that's a wide range of results.  I'll keep trying. 

A quick review of home-freezing my garden veggies.

Kale: hated it.

Papaya: s'okay.

Cherry tomatoes: Success!

These tiny heirloom cherry tomatoes have to be eaten immediately after picking as their thin skins don't hold up well, but that trait makes them fabulous to use right out of the freezer.  

The skin melts away and the flavor is rich.  They self-seed prolifically all over my yard and everyone nibbles on them from the humans, to the dachshunds, to the chickens.

Those goofy chickens.

One of my tweens, Pterry, wandered in to see how the other half lives.  Normally, the birds stop at the threshold, as if there were a chicken forcefield in place.  It was the clicking of her toenails, so different from the dachshunds, which alerted me to a new visitor.

And No, she didn't poop on the floor.

Gratuitous cute dog photo:

Gratuitous cute nephew photo:

Not so gratuitous but still cute knitting photo:

Baby mittens!  I think these were knitted on toothpicks!

This skilled knitter gifted me with a selection of fun yarns,

so Christmas presents will be fuzzy and bright this year.

I continue to build up my jewelry inventory

My Etsy store, SolOpsArt (https://www.etsy.com/shop/SolOpsArt) has gratified me with a steady trickle of sales and is a wonderful outlet for my creativity. 

I have started dropping in again at local thrift stores and was rewarded

 with this fantastic string of dyed bone beads for $2!

These will not be featured on a vegan necklace ALTHOUGH 

I do offer vegan alternatives in my jewelry.

I'm not sure what the decision is on fossils but I've decided to use the KISS method

 and do not include them in vegan designs.

Art and inspiration surround me

and I'll take it where I find it

or buy it:

A mere $25 and this lady will be mine.

I feel like I can wake up on those mornings when I was too tired to mess with the makeup remover the night before, and she will understand.