Summer plugs

There are people and products I support

and now seems like as good a time as any to plug a few.

But NOT the fresh raccoon and possum.  That's a seasonal product 

and I don't really think summer is the best season for it.

I've always plugged this book as the authority on anything you might find on the beach in Florida

but I've been through it backwards and forwards and still can't ID this "seed pod."

     I had a scant 2 weeks before the 3 stepsons arrived at my house to continue their summer-long Dr. Who marathon so I jumped at the chance to go scalloping with my favorite Homossassa fishing guide, Captain Mike Baize.

He's personable, dependable and knowledgeable; important traits 

when you're paying to be out on the water with someone.

     Here I am, showing off part of the haul.  I had to use the laptop photo program to blur out the bizarrely deep grooves I always get whenever I wear a dive mask.  Trust me, had I not smoothed out the mask marks, you'd never have been able to look at the scallops, instead, wondering if I was recovering from face transplant surgery.

If you ever get a chance to go scalloping

another service I highly recommend are the shuckers who set up shop around the boat ramp.

These little nuggets will end up being the most expensive scallops of your life

but then, it isn't really about the scallops, is it?  It's the whole experience.

     No trip to Homossassa is complete for me without a visit to the little Pepper Creek Pottery shop.  I'm on a slow, methodical mission to replace all my plates and bowls with a mix of their wares.  They also have a great selection of coffee mugs, art jugs, and a really cool manatee piggy bank that has "Nephew's Christmas Present" written all over it.  The last time I visited the shop, one of the proprietors, Angela, and I had a nice talk about fossils which inspired her to create a bowl just for me!

She pressed fossils into the band of clay around the outside of the bowl, fired it, 

and it's been on a shelf waiting for my return.  What a great surprise!

And now I have to plug myself...

(maybe "promote" would be a better word to use)

The holidays season and fossil festivals will start taking place in a few months so

I've been hard at work, creating a variety of Peace River fossil necklaces.

Nice!  if I do say so myself. ;-)

Every journey begins with a single step...

...or in my case, a dozen cinder blocks

Why are all the things I love SO heavy?!

     I recently put out a FaceBook request for free cinder blocks so that I can rebuild my garden plot.  Two people quickly responded and I've been hauling cinder blocks ever since.  The new garden wall is almost done, thanks in part to Tanya who talked me off the ledge by pointing out that I didn't need a 4' tall planting bed; 2 layers of cinder blocks will suffice.  I also received an offer of free pavers and since I've reverted to my original plan of paving my back yard (chickens and mulch integrity are a no-win situation), I've been hauling those, too.

I'm determined to get my ping pong table back in action.  Only 10 more truckloads of pavers...

This photo cannot express the heat and humidity outside.  I work until my face turns beet red and 

then I hide inside for the rest of the day.

My 3 stanhopeas are crazy happy outside

The middle plant has begun sending down blossom spikes.  Let the fireworks begin!

Speaking of fireworks...

     I attended our local 4th of July display and overheard an appreciative audience member declare, 

"Yo, that's technology, bro!"

The opposite of technology is my life without a clothes dryer. 

I visited Singapore a few years ago and was struck by how a tiny country that is nothing more than an environmental footprint works very hard to minimize that footprint as best they can.  I stayed in an apartment built with a design to catch breezes, floored with cool tile and stone, each room with its own AC control, and, among other energy savers, a clothes rack to air-dry laundry before fluffing it briefly in the dryer.  I bought a drying rack the minute I got home and have used it faithfully ever since.  Unfortunately, without a dryer to finish off the laundry, I start the day by dressing in clothes that feel like a loofah sponge.  Saving my pennies for the new dryer...

When I bought my house in '07, I also bought some wood deck chairs.

I was sitting in one of these chairs yesterday, enjoying my morning coffee, when I became aware of a faint crunching sound behind my shoulder...

These wasps have been chewing on my chairs since I set them outside but apart from a splotchy finish, they haven't done any serious harm.

After I saw this cardboard palm on the Gulf Coast...

...I ran home and doused mine with fertilizer.  Come on, man, GROW!

And I dream of a crinum lily with a thick trunk like these...

I've procured a start of a Queen Emma crinum so all I have to do is wait...years.

I love the journey of my yard

     I got this tabebuia tree as a free sapling in 2008.  It's been leaning to the side ever since.

    I staked it when it was younger in an effort to get it to grow straight but I finally gave up. Nowadays, I trim branches on the "heavy side" hoping to counterbalance the lean, and I keep my fingers crossed during the hurricane season.  It's the only real shade my house gets.

My "Living Privacy Screen" is growing like gangbusters

I'm trying to create a situation where instead of pretending not to see my neighbors in their swimming pool, I actually won't be able to see them.  Cactus + heat = project success.

I finally caved and cut this encyclia inflorescence:

It measures nearly 40 inches from the base of the stem to the last flower.  I wanted to enjoy its last days inside...in the AC.

My backyard is like a world unto itself for my little dachshunds.  Schotzie is not only a sun worshipper, unperturbed by mind-sizzling heat (maybe because she has a tiny dachshund brain insulated by a thick skull), but a skilled cherry tomato forager as well.

She likes to spend a portion of each day sniffing out ripe tomatoes to eat.

Alas!  The tomatoes called it quits and I had to rip out the dying plants.

Witness this sad tableau: 

Schotzie, mopping up the aftermath of the tomato apocalypse. 

Thank goodness she loves her kibble, too.

The Tom Cruise maneuver

This bin of men's underwear stopped me short.

     I can understand a hottie juggling his citrus in his skivvies, but air guitar with a broom?  

My first thought was, 

"Put that nasty broom down!"

     If Mike pulled these shenanigans, I'd have to force a little laughter so as not to hurt his feelings, and then try to get the dang broom away from him.

It wasn't but a few aisles later that I came across these:

First thought: migraine glasses.

But as I stared at them in fascination, I realized they might be soothing if I was having a migraine; sipping a cool liquid... 

 Naw!  I'll stick with pharmaceuticals. 

I treated myself to a new Frisbee

My old Frisbee was so torn up from landing on pavement, my fingers would be raw after 30 minutes of play.  The new Frisbee: silky smooth!

When one of the legs broke off my grill while it was filled with hot coals, I had to concede that

 it was no longer safe so...

I treated myself to a new grill

"RTA and me" go together like "gin and tonic."

I've put together grills, smokers, a shed, and enough cheap furniture to fill a seedy apartment complex.

Grills seems relatively expensive but at least I know I'll get several years of use out of it (jury-rigging it the whole way) until it, too, collapses in a pile of rust flakes.

But there's one expense I can no longer bear:

The constant Florida showdown between fishing gear and salt water.

     Trust me, I've bought all kinds of reels, expensive and cheap, and I've cleaned them with everything from high end reel maintenance products to Pledge.  I've still had to take my expensive reels in for repairs so many times, I could've bought new reels (of course!) and the cheap ones, right in the trash.  I just bought 2 more reels in a vacation area (so you know they were waaay overpriced) and as I watched the boys wade through the waves with the reels completely submerged, I thought, "What's the point?"  From now on, the cheapest of the cheap from WalMart and this time I PROMISE to keep my receipts and packaging!

How long has 7-11 offered this option?

I was very excited to spy the Leche al Vapor button this morning.

Warning: the steamed milk is pre-sweetened but not overly sweet so it was tolerable.  

Now, if only 7-11 had some good coffee to put this in.

     I took my Frisbee, and my grill, and my coffee back  home to work on my own Martha Stewart maneuvers.  The yard work is so much harder without a staff of hundreds.  

And I WISH I could afford her plastic surgeon!  Check out this photo:

I know it's photoshopped but isn't she like, 90?

Aim for the stars!

Barbie's Opium Den

I couldn't tell you why I decided to paint my dining room pink,

but I did.

Ugh!

I wanted to break away from a lifetime of neutral tans, seafoam greens, and slate blues.

I wanted to be exotic.

I wanted Barbie's Dream House but instead, I wound up in her opium den.

Finally, after years of bitching and moaning, I transformed the room into 

a more sober version of my vision...

Ahh!

Lesson learned.

Goo goo g'joob.

I recently went for an eye exam.  

Dizzy with dilated pupils, I stumbled into the Women's bathroom and was confronted by this poster,

which immediately caused me to stumble back out of the bathroom and confirm that I was, indeed, in the correct facility.  

So I sat down and enjoyed the view.

But I wonder if the old opium den vibe persists when I look at the reading selection on my nightstand:

These books appeared within 2 months of my declaration that 

"I'm never going to read the Dune books again!"

To be fair, I've never read these Dune books and I've been finding them quite entertaining.

Fear not, Faulkner!  I shall return! (after I'm done with the literary slumming)

Fruit or Fiction?

It's not a hallucination; it's fresh lychees.

I've never had fresh lychees before so I enjoyed the heck out of the ones I got from a South Florida friend.  The "rind" is hard and psychedelic pink while the edible part is the opposite:

I wish I could grow these but I was told that even South Florida is almost too cold for lychees.

Hard to believe.

The snack aisle at Petco...

Like crack for dogs.

I guess we all have issues.

I'd better sleep this one off.

Bamboo and Bicycles: Heaven or Hell?

Living in Florida can be a mixed bag.

Witness the warning sign at the DOG WALKING area of a rest stop.

At least there was a warning, right?

But I was also warned about the hazards of planting bamboo in my yard.

I was warned over and over and over again.

"This is a clump bamboo," I was assured, "It won't take over your yard."

Yes it will.

I planted the clump and as soon as the summer rains started it immediately doubled in size and sent roots to...well...HELL.

At least that's what it now feels like as I try to extricate it from my property.

As I dig at Satan's root ball, I think of this cartoon from FaceBook:

Yes, it's hot down here in Florida but that affords us ample opportunities to participate in warm weather activities (here's where I tie in the "Bicycles").

Look at this guy's sweet ride!

When I saw his bike, I had one of those "Why didn't I think of that?!" moments.

The next day, during my weekly visit to WalMart-hell, I was almost swayed by this...

Check. It. Out.

Cool color!  Faux wood-tone accents!  And all the extras come standard: 

cup holder, BOOK RACK, WICKER BASKET!!!

Are you kidding me?!

But in the spirit of my little blog, I made my own:

This is my old Mongoose that I bought off the husband of a friend about 15 years ago.

Whenever I take it to a bike shop for maintenance and they start throwing me attitude, 

I haughtily announce,

"It's a PRE-WalMart Mongoose."

That shuts 'em up.  

AND it's got custom handlebars! Thank you W.F. for that little innovation.

I just added a cooler to the NON-wicker basket and stuck a G&T in the holder 

made for an electrolyte-replenishing beverage.  

Voila!

Enjoying my bicycle allows me to escape the Ranger 

which is quickly descending to "White Trash Hell"

Yup, you're seeing it right.

How can I complain when the weird cassette tape insert allowed me unbridled access

 to the original speakers for so many years?

Well, it's OVA!!!

Surely this will be featured on an episode of 

"Jury Rigging Gone Wild!"

(Hey, I didn't sign a consent form for that!)

Save me!!!

Florida's Malibu Resort (a review)

I like an "old Florida" motel.

The Malibu Resort in Redington Beach, Florida fits my bill.

It's a little out dated and run down and mismatched which adds up to a more affordable stay on a Gulf Coast beach...or rather, across the street from a Gulf Coast Beach.  Works for me!

The Malibu is dog friendly.

I just unpacked the dachshunds and they were good-to-go.

There is a "$ per dog per day" policy which I think only qualifies a place to be dog "tolerant" but the accommodating manager waived the pet fee since we were staying for a full week.

The rooms are small

but there's still plenty of space to throw a tantrum and pout

as demonstrated by Zach in this photo:

Small rooms and outdated TV's

meant the boys spent time

playing basketball on the little court behind the motel

or playing on the beach

or burning off LOTS of excess energy in the very clean motel pool

     The outdated TV's presented a problem when the boys wanted to play their XBox games (yes, they brought their XBox) but Jim, the manager, quickly hunted down a television with the proper cable inputs.  He mentioned that a TV update is on the horizon, in case you were wondering.

The usual cast of Florida characters

And these photos don't even include the guests!

There is a decent little Cuban cafe attached to the property and they will gladly deliver your order to your room or poolside chaise lounge.  I tore up their steak palomilla. Yum!

And every time I left the room...

...I felt like I was in the opening credits of Dexter.

Without the body count and all that horrible stuff.

Just the cool, "old Florida" locale.