I'm a Gun Jumper

Look at this beautiful orchid.

Now, imagine how much more beautiful it would be

if I hadn't jumped the gun and clipped it off the plant too soon:

as I trimmed the stems to put it in a vase, I discovered 2 more infant buds

 that will now never see the light of day.

Crap!

I don't know why people still complain 

about seeing Christmas items in the stores before Thanksgiving.

Aren't we all used to that by now?  

When they start putting Santa out in the fireworks tents, then we can start complaining again.

The stars are aligned to shill products.

No, Bey. I'm not convinced.

Nooooo!!!!

Don't know who you are but Yesss!!!!

Just kidding; I don't dislike anyone enough to gift them with a cheap Axe knock-off. 

And what's up with these bike tires?!

I like the look but I immediately imagine it would be a hard peddle on this sucker.

Saw this "tandem" in the parking lot

I would like to see this on the road.  I've never liked tandem designs where one person has to stare at the back of their partner all day, but this might be tolerable.

The approach of the holidays means it's time to start deciphering instructions on items made in other countries.

Can I get on a list to do emergency editing for countries in need?

I would even volunteer, although I would also accept gift certificates for payment.

Everything about this label is so classically wrong, it almost seems like a spoof.

Love.

I already splurged...

Yeah, I know, it looks like a panty shield on my foot, but it's so much better!

I've finally upgraded from the lame Hot Hands hand "warmers" that never really seemed to do much, to the amazing Hot Hands body, toe, and foot warmers that are sized for the appropriate segment of your anatomy and have a sticky side so they stay in place. I'm a fan!

I used these on a recent kayak trip near Nahunta, Georgia.

Not much to do in town, but the Satilla River was beautiful.

I got an early dose of holiday cheer

when I woke to this amazing quartz sand that looked like snow in the morning light.

All of the beauty and none of the cold.

Would it be too corny...

to say the kayaks looked like a string of Christmas lights?

Don't care, I'm saying it anyway.

I always enjoy the line up of colorful 'yaks when a group preps to head out.

And not to end on a downer but

always spay and neuter.

It doesn't matter if your pets never go outside, and your dog doesn't think like a human: he won't miss his balls.  All it takes is one jaunt out of your yard to create another generation of misery.

These babies were in poor health and so pitiful.  They tried to climb into my kayak and stood in the shallow water crying as I paddled away.  Their momma was the sweetest, saddest girl I've seen.  We were able to notify the police and animal control of their location and hopefully they will all have new homes by New Years.  

Beets and the holidays: a deep sense of resignation.

Why will no one stand beside me

and admit they hate beets?

Anyone? No?

Damn...that means it's just me.

I was watching an episode of Portlandia and there was a skit which involved 911 operators reassuring the callers that what they were seeing wasn't blood but beet juice.  Time to make peace with beets.

Thank goodness the November issue of Martha Stewart's Living magazine included a recipe for a vegetable tian composed of tomatoes, potatoes, and BEETS.

I'm not going to say something crazy now like, for instance,

"I love beets,"

but this veggie dish was delicious and the beet flavor tolerably mild.

I love seaweed.

I saw this seaweed snack at a store and decided to give it a try.

Delicious!

It reminded me of the hijiki dish I order whenever I see it on the menu at Japanese restaurants: thin, "light" seaweed shreds with a sweet glaze.  The only problem with the Sea's Gift snack is that the package doesn't contain a set of tiny chopsticks with which to eat it. Very messy affair.

While working outside...

I became the victim of a chicken caper.

They were gobbling down my smoothie behind my back.

I enjoy their company but you gotta keep an eye on 'em.

I have some beautiful new additions to the flock:

I always turned my nose up at the ubiquitous leghorn chicken, equating it with white eggs which of course were the symbol of everything wrong with factory farming.  Poor maligned hens!  It's not the color of the egg that's important.  It's the quality of the chicken's life that matters and these spry, energetic hens with their upright fanned tails are living la vida loca.