The Fabled Mechanic

I CAN quit this Ranger...

...and I need to do it BEFORE it quits me!

     The time has come and I am taking my first, tentative steps towards buying a new, used truck.  I am the living proof of a cautionary tale for all men with daughters:  I know it's easier to just take care of their automotive needs without actually involving them in the process, but if you do, you risk creating the saddest of lost characters: a 49 year old woman who has NEVER bought a car.

Can I get an OMG?!

     My dad was the original owner of this 1995 Ford Ranger and then I "bought" it from him meaning, I wrote him a small check (to keep things fair amongst my siblings) and he handed me a few papers saying, "Sign here...and here..."  Done!  And the few vehicles I owned before the Ranger were also negotiated by my dad or ex-husband (I just handed over the money at the appropriate time).  

Here's the ex with the Ranger:

They both look a lot younger in this photo.

     So, as I begin my quest, I am already hearing the oft repeated phrase, "Take any car you are interested in to a trusted mechanic and have him check it out thoroughly," and every time I've heard or read this over the years, I've wanted to ask, with thinly veiled sarcasm,

Who is this fabled mechanic?

     I don't have a "trusted mechanic."  All of the mechanics I've dealt with are cagey and vague and can't seem to deliver a diagnosis that costs less than several hundred dollars.  My ex-husband WAS a mechanic and the auto shop tales he told confirmed every paranoid suspicion I ever had.

     And even if I knew a trustworthy mechanic, is he really going to drop everything to check out every vehicle I am interested in and do it for free?  Anything more than a cursory examination would take up a good chunk of his time (and mine!) so he would have to charge a fee for this service which would immediately outstrip my miniscule budget.

I don't believe in knights in bolt-on armor,

and, if such a mechanic exists...well, to paraphrase Michael Rapaport's character in "True Romance", these fabled mechanics are, "basically, guys I don't know and more important, they don't know me."

     Still, when I load up to go on one of my cross-Florida trips...

I'd like to look a little less "Grapes of Wrath."

Time to wade in and get dirty!